The first thing the customer will want to know is that you are on their side, as they will assume you are "against them" if you are not "for them"; even if you do not necessarily agree with their complaint, you should always be understanding and create an image of agreement, as this will cause them to feel like you are their ally rather than their enemy - which, of course, will prevent them from turning their attack to you.
Once you have established the boundaries of the discussion in such a way that they feel you are on their side, you can take the next step, which is offering solutions; the person with whom you are dealing may turn out to be inconsolable, but at least - in taking this approach - you can try to solve the problem on your own.
When it comes to dealing with an upset customer in person, however, there will be times when you will not be able to solve the problem on your own; if you find yourself in this position, remember that there is always someone above you to whom you can pass this customer along - which is what you will sometimes have to do, as many customers in this position simply remain upset until they get the satisfaction of talking to someone's "superior"!
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